Three years to go...

My main fear is wasting time.

Turns out quite a few people actually read these so I should probably get into more of a routine with these blogs. I would never believe in a thousand years that my thoughts were particularly interesting so thanks for sticking around. In all honesty though I don't have much to talk about so this is just another ramble really. My head seems a little more balanced than usual although I can already feel the scales starting to tip as I'm writing this. I'll be starting uni next week and I'm feeling my mind begin to make arrangements for the flood that's about to come.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited. Whenever people have asked how I've been feeling about it, that is always my response and it's completely true. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to seeing my timetable and getting into a routine; buying unnecessary and ridiculously expensive stationary I'll use once and probably lose the next week. I can't help but have a debate with myself if this is still the right decision though. I'm not afraid of making mistakes but I'm terrified about wasting my time. College was a massive disappointment and even though I learned so much being there, I genuinely believe I could have made a better choice. I don't regret it though and at the end of the day, I have met some amazing people that I genuinely treasure from being there.

I talk to myself. A lot. There isn't a single situation that I haven't already planned out in my head. It's my wonderful way of overthinking every scenario that could happen to me. I'm sitting in my first lecture and someone asks me "so if you can already write songs, why are you here?". I get asked that a lot but I've given it some thought and here is my answer.

I'm not as musically advanced as people think I am. My theory is terrible and although I know the basics, it would be a massive help to get better at it. I also love the idea of writing for film or television so being able to compose a score would be incredible. Other than theory, I think it's important for me to learn more about the industry itself. My dad has always said that the music business has nothing to do with music and he's completely right. When it comes to laws, management, copyright, my knowledge is only minimal. Learning this safeguards me and my music. Yes it's not the most exciting subject but I want to know exactly what I'm doing and more simply, I want to know the best way to grow without the need of a manager or label.

And the cheesy reason for going to uni? I want to make some friends. With everyone starting to head down their own separate paths, it's been very easy for me to sink into a state of mind where I speak to no one. The past year has been a little more lonely than usual and I want to change that. In turn, I'm hoping it can help me gain some confidence. I miss getting to know people and being able to bounce off people's energy.

Fast forward a couple of days since I started this blog and I have completed my enrolment and induction. I officially begin my course tomorrow and I can't wait. It's going to be stressful. I know that there are going to be good and bad days. But I made a friend at my induction and right now, I genuinely believe that I have an amazing three years ahead.