The Process of Mama Tell Moi
Always go with your gut instinct.
MY NEW SINGLE 'MOTHER, TELL ME' IS OUT NOW ALONG WITH A LIVE VIDEO OF ME SINGING MY NEW TUNE ON YOUTUBE AND MAN OH MAN AM I EXCITED.
New music, finally. My EP 'Platforms' was released November 2016 and I feel like I've changed so much since then. Don't get me wrong, I'm still super proud of it but personally I don't think that EP reflects who I am anymore. It was my first step into releasing my own material though and shaped the beginning of this musical madness. (Although on a side note, I did actually release an EP in 2012 but I'll go into more detail about that some other time...there's a lot to talk about there). So I thought it best to give you a little behind the scenes of how this song actually came about. The process of MTM (sorry I'm too lazy to keep typing it out) has actually been fascinating...
I woke up with the chorus in my head.
'Mother, tell me, is it worth it? Don't look at me disappointed'.
I remember frantically searching for my phone to record the idea down as I knew all too well how forgetful I can be. I grabbed my guitar, figured out the chords as quickly as possible and boom, February of last year, I recorded a wee little chorus that would soon be
completely
forgotten
about.
I worked on MTM for ages and finally gave up with it. The verses weren't fitting in place, the storyline was lost and I just couldn't think of a way to progress with it. But luckily, I found it again and I can safely say I'm so glad I did. I'm guessing I actually finished the song a few months after starting it. It got the thumbs up from my mum and I started to include it in my live sets. So lesson no.1 - always go back to your old stuff. That goes for every creative subject whether it's music, art or literature. You never know what you'll find.
I look to my mum for a lot of guidance. I'm very lucky to have her as my best friend and when I'm down about something, she's the first person I search for. I've always debated whether I should've gone into music or not. The mental strain can be pretty difficult sometimes. Add a heavy amount of self doubt and a constant comparison to other people leads to a lot of sleepless nights. When you're delving into yourself for inspiration on a daily basis, it's bound to open up some problems. And like always, I'm not very good at coping with that. The song in itself is quite literal, asking my mum whether or not this was all a good idea. It's about watching my adoration for music slowly decay. It's about being terrified of letting people down, particularly my family. It's about being scared to lose myself in the process. The whole song is pretty negative, I'll be completely honest. It's just hidden in major seventh chords. Why would I write a song like this then? There's no final conclusion to it. The last line ends on 'I have tried my hardest'. But I think that's the real turning point. Just try your hardest and if it gets too much, then it's okay to back away from it. There you go, that's slightly more positive. Oops.
Anyway lets get to the fUN stuff. I decided very suddenly last October to get some songs recorded, the main one being MTM. I also wanted a full band. Oof. But we did it with the help of some amazing people. I headed back to Load Street Studios in Bewdley to record with my good friend James who did such a great job producing this. I had the glorious Dan Matthew to play drums which sound absolutely aMAZING GOSH and we even managed to get a shaker in too, (Dan is an amazing friend of mine and also plays for a band called The Bug Club, go check them out if you haven't already). I was also extremely fortunate to get the one and only Stephen William to play trumpet which completely turned the track around. Massive thank you to these guys for helping out, it was a lot of fun recording it even if we had absolutely no idea what we were doing.
Lesson no.2 - the imperfections of something are usually what makes it perfect. Recording the vocals taught me this. I remember the second day in the studio, James made me give all I had into the vocals I got down. By the end of it, I was exhausted. I listened back to it though and I wasn't happy. The pitching had gone off slightly, the tone on some sections wasn't pleasant and I just felt like I could do better. Funny that this take ended up in being used for the final song. I went back into the studio to give it another shot and ironed out all of the creases. By all accounts, it was the one. But it just didn't feel right. The emotion was gone, the urgency had disappeared. Both me and James agreed it wasn't the right one and although it may seem like we wasted a lot of time doing that, it was completely necessary. The final take you hear on the song is from the first full take we recorded. It's got lumps and bumps but I've grown to adore it.
Right then. This bloody artwork. I had several ideas for what I wanted the packshot to be. One of them was to wear some clouds on my head, sit in one of those spinny chairs in the park and look kind of mopey. Didn't really work out though. I don't have much confidence when it comes to photos of me and we struggled with finding a decent setting that had no houses in the background. Think we entertained a few dog walkers though. I wasn't going to post what we actually managed to get but I think they're funny so you can have a mooch at the shots my lovely brother took. Honestly deciding on the artwork was painful but we got there eventually. One of the first original ideas we had for it was a photo of me when I was younger. Yes, the packshot is me, going fishing by the canal wearing a cute little sun hat and pink jogging bottoms. I adore this photo and it does still relate to the message of the song. It's me, trying my hardest and oblivious to the mess of what future Ellie will grow up to be. Lesson no. 3 - usually the simplest idea is the best one to go with. Without a doubt, it does not need to be extravagant. It can still be just as effective.
Lastly, the video. Towards the end of last year, I took part in a musical in my hometown and found my new bestie, Chris Yates. We had the idea of doing some form of video, particularly a live one. Chris revealed to me just how many live videos weren't actually live and it frustrated me... a lot. So over a few million cups of tea, we decided to do a live video of me singing MTM down a street in Worcester. Outside. In January. Yep. I would just like to give a shoutout to Kev Wrench who let us borrow his recorder, without it the video wouldn't have been possible so thank you Kev! The setup was so cool. We had the guitar go directly into the recorder and bought a tiny microphone for my vocals, enabling me to comfortably walk down the street with no wires getting in my way. Fab. The people you see walking around are just ordinary people going about their day. A couple of my favourites are the little girl in the yellow coat and the guy who clicks his heels at the end perfectly in time. We were extremely nervous doing this but I'm so happy with it. There are a million mistakes and without a doubt, it's not the best performance I've done. But I still love it. Massive thank you to Chris for all the help. And congrats on not falling over while walking backwards, although that would've made a wonderful blooper.
I think that's actually it. My apologies this blog is super duper long but for those of you keen to know the process, hopefully this was a good insight into the track. For some reason, I'm unable to put links on this blog but pop onto Youtube, Spotify, iTunes, Soundcloud or Bandcamp to watch and listen to the song. My new single 'Mother, Tell Me' is out now. And I really hope you like it.
Much love x
